Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
