Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
