nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
