my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
