I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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