THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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