I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
