But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dick very happy bro
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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