All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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