just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
