Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
