Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize