Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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