I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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