and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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