C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
