I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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