I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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