a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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