I should be sponsored by Trojan
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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