Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
