Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
