I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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