You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
