I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
