I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Come see our sink grown plant.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
