Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
