We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
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Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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