Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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