Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Come on in and take your pants off
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