Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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