I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
