i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
