she smelled like a LAN party
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize