forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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