You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
