What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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