i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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