a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
