Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
