Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
