Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You can't motorboat a personality
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
