He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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