We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
