is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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