Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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