I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
