so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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