some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i think i have two assholes
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
