Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
