dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
only you would photoshop your dick
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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