Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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