And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
