he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Too much gin, very little bucket
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i out mim tonsoeep
Two words: nipple clamps
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