hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Text me some of your sweat
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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