he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize