I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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