I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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