I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
