oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
