part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
