Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

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(418): View more from Quebec

You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.

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(805): View more from California

Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.

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(416): View more from Toronto

whose parrot is this?

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(517): View more from Michigan

She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.

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(716): View more from New York

If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.

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(917): View more from New York City

She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.

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